This is a diagram that I studied for the online sailing course I took last March.  It was the first time I had taken a test since 1999.  I have to be honest and tell you that I actually put off taking the the course's final exam for an entire YEAR.  Why?  I was terrified that I would fail.  And being terrified of failing made me wonder...since when am I THAT kind of person?

After all, back in the day, Trav and I used to take lots of risks, the kind where failure was a distinct possibility.  Moving to Telluride, 2,470 miles from our family and friends, was a big one.  So was buying a house.  And having kids.  And starting a business.  And sailing alone for 2 weeks with a 5 year old and a 20 month old. At the time, all of these things were scary to us.  Each time we took one of these risks, there were a million reasons we could come up with why we shouldn't or didn't have to do it. But EVERY SINGLE TIME, we have found that taking the risk was the right choice. (I can also add learning to mountain bike, skiing Spiral Stairs at 7 months pregnant, and parallel parking to this risk list).

So, what has changed?  Why am I scared of risks all of a sudden?
Maybe I'm just out of practice.

Eventually, after a year of fearful procrastination, I screwed my courage to the sticking place and took the sailing course final exam.  I chewed my nails.  I sweated.  And I got an 84.  (A respectable B -!)

We have decided to make risk taking part of our lives again, starting now.    We are giddy and goofy and excited and it's all we can talk about.  All 4 of us are challenging ourselves in different ways (after all, "risk" means something different to everyone), and to get my feet wet, here the ways I've decided to challenge (and scare myself a little) in the next 2 weeks:
1.   Start learning a musical instrument
2. Hike a fourteener (I've never done one- slacker!)
3.  Draw one quick sketch every day

Small steps toward being more of the me I want to be.
Ok Jen...go!